STEP 16:
Visit Graceland Too in Holly Springs, Mississippi. The world’s largest private collection of Elvis memorabilia. The house/shrine is built like a mini Graceland and is COVERED in barbed wire. Even down to the fake blue Christmas trees and plastic lions. The proprietor is an older gentleman dressed in half of a hawaiian shirt and loose dentures who takes massive amounts of speed and methamphetamines and won’t let you get a word in edgewise. We were too scared to take a picture with him ourselves - we ran out so fast Caroline threw up in the parking lot - when he suggested he could marry us off to his suspiciously missing son - Elvis Aaron Presley McLeod - seriously.
STEP 15:
Find out that Starbucks Pumpkin Lattes just aren’t as good as the gas station variety.
STEP 14:
Admire the impressively large um… err… “package” of Elvis’ memorabilia in Memphis.
STEP 11:
Drink 4 pitchers of PBR for $12 dollars!!! Play drinking games with hipster boys with terrible hair cuts, Irish accidents and fake “I’m in a band” pick up lines. Sobriety IS no accident - it’s a terrible decision some people (not us) choose to make. Save your friends!
STEP 10:
Scalp $20 tickets to the Country Music Hall of Fame benefit concert. Get drunk and rock out to songs you’ve never heard by Keith Urban, Taylor Swift, Faith Hill, Brad Paisley, Dierks Bentley, etc
STEP 8:
Deeply contemplate blowing half a week’s pay on cowboy boots in Nashville.
